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“The big hurdle was my parents reading stuff, because we had maintained this fiction about what my life was that was really comfortable for everybody.
Which was not really talking about how dating is.”When Ms.
Witt’s chapter about going to Burning Man (and having sex with a like-minded bookish dude she met at the Black Rock City library) was published in the London Review of Books, her father was upset, she said. Witt, he said, “is really writing for us, for a lot of my friends who, it’s not just that their lives haven’t taken a conventional path — their lives may have taken a conventional path — but they want to choose their sexual lives, they don’t want to have them assigned, they don’t want to be told, ‘Well, at the end of the day, when we’re all grown up, we know what we’re supposed to do.’”At the same time, Mr.
There wasn’t “so much a conversation, just my brother saying: ‘Dad didn’t like your article,” Ms. But after that: “I wasn’t scared anymore.”“It would be strange to me if young, intellectual women writers weren’t interested in intimacy, in the problems posed by sexual relations,” said Lorin Stein, who edited Ms. Stein noted, ours does not seem like a moment of wild reinvention. Bell an email to answer that question, recalling a moment from her 20s when she was dating an older man, who told her that he was still hung up on his ex and may ultimately choose neither of them. Weigel turned to him and asked, “What should I want?
Her newest book, “Sex Object,” is a memoir of her sex life and the misogyny that she believes it demonstrates.
To this end, she provides an extensive collection of romantic encounters and involvements — even though she knew that her book, and its title, were bound to provoke endless Twitter hate.“Whenever women write about sex, whenever they write about their relationship history, there’s a sort of rush to judgment that it must be navel gazing, it must be frivolous, it’s unimportant,” Ms. “Whereas of course when men write things about their sex lives or past relationships, it’s brave and universal and all the great things.”For her, the decision to do a memoir was a departure.
These writers have been greeted with a great deal of attention, yet there remains the anxious sense that to write about such topics is to risk forfeiting gravitas. Witt’s book is among the most personal of the bunch, offering up her perceptions of (and adventures in) the worlds of internet dating, internet pornography, orgasmic meditation and the kink industry. Witt’s book is her willingness to confess her unhappiness.“You can tell yourself different stories about why things are happening,” Ms. “I knew the story that I was telling myself — that I would eventually meet someone and get married — felt really false.
Laing, in her mid-30s — “an age at which female aloneness … Laing’s primary subject is not herself, but rather artists like Edward Hopper and Andy Warhol and Henry Darger, for whom, she argues, loneliness was everywhere. Laing herself appears in flashes all through the narrative, in cameos of solitude, staring into neighbors’ windows, skimming the personal ads on Craigslist, going on first dates with the men she finds there, but never any second dates.
In considering questions like why she was not married or almost married (and why many of her friends who wanted to be married were also not married), Ms.
Witt, who has written for the London Review of Books and The New Yorker, and is a contributing editor to T: The New York Times Style Magazine, recalled thinking that “technology had changed.
Witt began writing, she was nervous and reticent, and wrote in the third person.
“I didn’t want to reveal a lot of myself,” she said.