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(Presumably Taccone, another third of the Lonely Island comedic trio.) His face is bearded and his hair is slightly rumpled and only one of his sleeves is rolled. pic.twitter.com/P5v1Awl Dgr— The Lonely Island (@thelonelyisland) April 11, 2019? See: This photo oozes horny from its every pore and yet I am hard-pressed to say why, exactly, it excites such widespread and unadulterated passion. But if I may presume to throw in my own two cents, it’s the chaotic good that gets me, too.

All these disparate details, unremarkable on their own, come together to form a distinctly horny whole. You caught me just as I was about to watch a new hashtag brooklyn99 tonight on NBC. How to distill down the essence of its horndog-inducing powers? I cannot claim to be immune to this photo’s charms, and as best I can tell, it’s the whiff of casual mischief emanating from an alert, interested face that gets me.

Some have suggested that the special sauce lies in the “doting boyfriend energy” exemplified by Samberg’s unruly bedhead. He is clearly up to something, but the something is non-threatening, and furthermore it throws off a confident-yet-gentle sass.

This is a look made for “Sunday morning farmer’s markets,” with high notes of dadliness and affability, plus a suggestion of snacks to come. (Very appealing.) I know we all used this term more or less to death, but I am fairly sure that if you look up “Big Dick Energy” in Merriam-Webster’s dictionary, you will find this photo sitting alongside the entry.

Jacob Wohl, a hapless prankster whose aspirations to Nixonian dirty-trickster status are perpetually bedeviled by layers upon layers of filigreed ineptitude, had issued a new press release.

Trump himself is all id, a collection of urges and appetites increasingly unbounded not only from the constraints of conscience and moral duty, but also from any moderating, mediating intelligence.

We know this, but we err when we say he has “remade” conservativism in his own image, because that suggests a deliberate act, rather than the explosive accident that freed conservativism from its few self-imposed restraints and rigors.

But if surviving in crisis requires the sublimation of intellect to instinct, then the conservative movement does indeed face a dilemma not of conscience, but of consciousness, as its last vestiges of intellect melt away and a horny, libidinal monster at last emerges fully from the depths.

Last week, a Customs and Border Patrol officer named Kiara Cervantes rocketed to social media fame after she was photographed staffing Vice President Mike Pence’s July 12 tour of a “sweltering, foul-smelling and overcrowded” Texas Border Patrol detention center.

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